Abortion

I am getting ready to write about a topic that will offend or maybe even hurt someone’s feelings and I may even lose some of you as friends.  Before I continue I want you to know that is not my intent, but due to the topic it is inevitable.   This world is so full of being political correct in every situation and with every issue.  The world has gotten things mixed up and we have allowed curtain topics to be a taboo to talk about.  If we do we are ridiculed, labeled, out casted, and attacked.  I am guilty of sitting back and not saying anything because I was afraid of rocking the boat per say or hurting someone’s feelings.  My heart has been exploding with injustice as I have silently set by not saying anything as innocent little ones are murdered, and I have watch people glaze over it like it isn’t a big deal as they focus on other issues so minor compared to the topic at hand.  Some of you may have already determined that I am speaking about abortion. 

Trust me I personally had to face this topic head on several times myself.  I have been faced with the choice to have an abortion or not.  Each time I personally have chosen life.  I have however seen the choice go the other way for loved ones, close friends, and even to those who I have become a second mom too.  There is one constant with each and every one of those I know who have had an abortion and that is it leave a wound that never completely heals.  It leaves a void that never seems to be filled.  The person who chose the abortion and all those around are left with shame, heartache, and regret.  I have watched those I love hurt deeply with their decision and watched a piece of their heart die.  I know the stories behind their decision and I know how tough it was for them to make, but each and every one of them are not and never will be the same because of it.

I am about to get very personal and share my life and heart. This is difficult for me and my heart breaks for those I love who read this and who have had abortion.  Before I start I want you to know that I love you and I truly do not mean for my words to condemn you or hurt you in any way.  I am not ashamed of you and I know your heart.  My hope is that if there is someone else considering having an abortion that they will reconsider.  There is no easy way or even a nice way to put into words the reality of what abortion is and that is ending a life.

When I was 14yrs old I was raped.  With that rape there was I time I thought I was pregnant.  Oh, the shame, the worry and fear set in.  Here I was possibly going to have a baby and I had no clue what I should do.  I was so afraid of telling my parents and did not want to disappoint them in any way.  I blamed myself and I was so worried that my parents would be angry, so I didn’t tell them.  I told the junior in high school who raped me and it was clear that I would be on my own.  A few months past and still no period.  The fear and anxiety grew.  I couldn’t go to the doctor because then my parents would know what happened, so I waited.  I battled many thoughts and one thought was should I have an abortion.  Friends said I should have one and the guy who raped me certainly wanted me to have one, but in my heart I knew it was wrong.  I knew it would end the baby’s life, so I decided that regardless of the backlash that I would have the baby and started thinking about adoption or keeping the baby myself.  About a month after I decided to keep the baby if I started my period and was not pregnant.  I was so relieved.  I know that there are stories out there who do end up being pregnant and the outcome is different.  No I don’t know what it is like to have to deliver at the age 14, but I had to make a decision.

I have six beautiful children and 5 out of the 6 were suggested to be aborted for one reason or the other.  At 18yrs old I married my high school sweet heart and I thought that my fairy tale was about to come true and that we would live happily ever after.  Oh how I was wrong.  Not soon into the marriage we talked about starting a family and I ended up getting pregnant.  I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to tell my husband at the time.  When I did I did not get the response that I was hoping for.  He told me that it was an abortion or divorce.  I was devastated, but I knew that I couldn’t have an abortion.  Long story short the divorce happened.  It so happened I went to Planned Parenthood to confirm the pregnancy and knowing my age and the circumstance they tried numerous times to convince me to have an abortion and each time I objected they came back with another reason why I should.  I stood my ground and said no.  As the pregnancy continued I ended up having many complications and in the beginning and they thought that it a tubal pregnancy and told me that if it was I would have to have an abortion, thank heavens it wasn’t.  I ended up even sicker and broke out in a rash.  I went to the ER and they thought that I had the Rubella Measles, set me down with a counselor to tell me that my baby was going to be born with defeats and that it would be better to abort the baby instead.  It turned out that I didn’t have the measles and I am so glad I chose not to have an abortion.  It seemed like everywhere I turned someone was telling me that I had to have an abortion.  I was really sick throughout my pregnancy and couldn’t hold anything down.  I would have to go in and have IV fluids to keep me hydrated.  It was a very long and complicated delivery.  After hours of pushing it came to a critical moment and they had to use the vacuum extractor to pull to deliver her. Stephanie’s cord was to short and when they pulled her out they also ripped the placenta from the uterine wall causing me to hemorrhage. Being that the labor was so long Stephanie was born with her skin so dry and cracking from lack of any amniotic fluid. They almost lost me and my baby, but Stephanie his now 24yrs old, healthy, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

Two years later I met my husband now and we ended up getting pregnant out of wedlock and of course many suggested to have an abortion, saying we were too young to start a family and that I already had a child.  We ended up getting married, but 3 months into the pregnancy I ended having complications and I almost lost Shannon several times.  I was put on bedrest due to preterm labor, put me on meds to stop the labor, and had to go into see the doctor several times a week to have a stress test and an ultrasound.  I had to take the medicine for the entire pregnancy and it would make my heart race and shake uncontrollably, it was horrible.  The doctors kept telling me that my pregnancy was not going to make it to term and it would be best that I would have an abortion, that it would be too hard on me, and if she would be born she would probably wouldn’t be normal or live that long.  I ended up getting preeclampsia, was told that I was going to have Placenta Previa, and that she was breech.  They tired turning her but her umbilical cord got pinched and her heart stopped beating.  They rushed me to do an emergency Caesarean and thank heavens her heart starting beating on its own and didn’t have to do it after all.  Even though I was really sick with the preeclampsia we had to wait a few more days to make sure she had her best chance and let her lungs develop more.  During the delivery her heart kept dropping and they worked frantically to deliver her.  As they were prepping me for a C-section she started crowning so they had to deliver her without the Caesarean.  Once delivered they quickly took her away and I didn’t get a chance to see her for hours.  She needed oxygen.  They then had to turn to me because I started hemorrhaging.  After almost losing Shannon numerous times, hemorrhaging again at birth and her having a difficult time at birth I am happy to say that she is 21 and has a son of her own, our first grandchild David.

With my third child Samantha I also had a difficult pregnancy and had preterm labor throughout it, had to be bedridden, and was leaking Amniotic Fluid so the doctors also suggested for me to have an abortion.  I was bedridden for 4 months due to the preterm labor and leaking of fluid and theyput me on the same medicine I had to stop the labor as I did with Shannon, in which I had the same effect.  I went into labor but Samantha’s lungs weren’t completely developed yet, so I labored for a week with having contractions every 5 to 10mins. Her lungs finally matured and they let me go into full labor.  Like my two other labors I dilated to a 5 and stopped so they had to induce me. Yet another difficult birth and hemorrhaging again Samantha was born and was perfect.  They didn’t get all the placenta out and they had to do 3 D&Cs in 3wks.  Today is her 20^th birthday, she is married and living in San Diego with her husband.

When I was pregnant with my son J.J.  I had many complications and had many test.  One of the test came back saying that he was going to be born with Spinal Bifida or Downs.  Joe and I were sent to talk with a genetic counselor to discuss our options.  They put us in a room and put a video on with all these disabled kids and the video showed all the complications that came along with having a child with disabilities.  The doctors came back in and told us that it would be in the best interest of the child and ourselves if we would abort the fetus. Our hearts were broken, but we knew we could kill our son.  He was not just a mass of tissue, he was our son.  We told them that we were not going to have an abortion and they just kept telling us that we were making a mistake.  We were glad that we knew what he might have and we started preparing for what might come.  I ended up having problems with preterm labor and leaking Amniotic Fluid and had to have several Amniocentesis to monitor him and the fluids.

I was put on bedrest, and given the same medicine to stop my labor.  It was touch and go with my pregnancy.  I went into labor earlier then what they wanted me too, but this time they couldn’t stop the labor.  When J.J. was delivered he wasn’t breathing.  His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and he was a dark purple almost black in color.  They abruptly snatched him away and it was silent.  As I laid on the bed hemorrhaging I was crying waiting to hear him cry.  Finally after they worked on him for what seemed like an eternity I heard him cry and at that moment I knew he was ok.  He didn’t have Spinal Bifida or Downs, but he did have heart defect that we didn’t discover until he was 4yrs old, he has been able to live a normal life with just a few restrictions.

 

When I was pregnant with Sydney I had much of the same problems with the pregnancy.  I had preterm labor, bedrest, same awful medicine to stop labor, and was leaking fluid.  The amount of Amniotic fluid with her was very dangerous and I had to be placed in the hospital for the last two months of my pregnancy.  I couldn’t do anything.  My highlight was being able to go to the pool and float for an hour.  This was to help build the fluid up.  Again the doctors were trying to convince me that it would be easier to abort my baby because the chances of her making it was slim, with my history of hemorrhaging and the chance of me losing my life being high due to some issues.  Again, I knew I couldn’t kill my baby and what ever happened God was in control.  As you guessed and other complicated delivery, like the others I could only dilate to a 5 and then had to be induced, and once again I hemorrhaged.  Again, I went into labor a week earlier than they wanted me to and because of her lungs not being completely developed they stopped my labor and a week later on Christmas Eve she was born.  She is completely normal and as my other kids the love of my life.

 

Sarah my youngest pregnancy and birth was not much different than the other except the doctor I had with her did not suggest an abortion.  I was really sick with her like the others with morning sickness through my entire pregnancy, preterm labor, and low Amniotic fluid and yes I hemorrhaged at birth. There was one difference with this pregnancy and it was the amount of pain I had.  There was a spot right below my right rib that was like a pain I never felt before.  With 3wks to go I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and went to see my doctor.  He didn’t find anything that he could see was wrong.  However, he said he had a feeling that we should go ahead and schedule for me to be induced on Monday which would have been Feb. 14^th Valentine’s Day.  I of course agreed.  He sent me home and not even an hour passed before he called and said that he changed his mind and that he wanted me to come in tomorrow which was a Saturday to be induced.  With the pain being so intense, I gladly said yes.  So early the next day we went to the hospital and I was induced.  With this labor I only felt one full labor pain and then I had an epidural.  Amazingly enough this one worked.  My first labor I didn’t have one, but the 4 others I did, they didn’t work though.  Samantha’s work a little but not completely.  I was worried because I could still move my legs and with the others I felt everything and couldn’t move my legs.  The nurse reassured me that this was a good thing and it was I didn’t feel a thing.  Not soon after I got the epidural I turned to the nurse and said that I felt funny and before I knew it I was out.  My blood pressure dropped and I stopped breathing for a moment, but they were able to revive me.  From that point on the labor continued without pain or any other complication until Sarah was born.  I surprisingly hemorrhaged, I know shocker right.  Sarah was fine.  From the side of the room I heard the nurse say to the doctor that there was a problem with the cord.  I had decided to donate the cord blood but they couldn’t get any blood out of the cord.  The doctor went to look and the cord was dry and brittle.  He then examined the placenta and there was a huge pocket of blood at the top of it that had formed.  The doctor then said that all the blood from the cord had been collecting into a pocket on top of the placenta and that was what was probably causing the pain I was having.  He also told me that if we would have waited until Monday that the pocket of blood would have burst and he would have lost me and the baby.  Besides, Sarah wasn’t getting what she needed from the cord and would have died by that alone. Thank God the doctor listened to his feelings of delivering Sarah early or neither Sarah nor I wouldn’t be here today.

 

You are probably wondering why I shared all that with you and the answer is simple.  The world is full of choices and abortion is an option so many throw around as if it is no big deal.  Well, it is.  I know things could have turned out differently with each and every one of my pregnancies and there was a chance that some of my kids could have been born disabled, could have died in my womb, and I could have died myself.  Circumstances could have been different in many ways.  I know that they do for so many others and I won’t discredit that.  However, I had a choice to make and that was to take a life or to give a life a chance.  I am thankful to God that despite all the adversity my children are ok and so am I.  My heart breaks for those who it doesn’t work out that they get to keep their babies.  I do know though that they were willing to give life a chance as well.

 

In life circumstances change.  What may seem so overwhelming at one point can be a beacon of hope later.  Life is not always about what is convenient or even what may seem the easiest at the time.  Again for those who have had an abortion I am not trying to make you feel bad.  I know that it wasn’t an easy choice to make and I am sure if you could change it you would.  My heart hurts for yours because I know deep down inside there is a hole.  No the pain may never go away but God can take that burden from you and give you peace.  He is the only one that can do that.

 

As I continue I want all to know that facts are facts and there is no hatred or condemnation from me with what I say. 

 

Fact one there are about 300 million sperm released in a single ejaculation.

I was thinking about this the other day.  Sperm swims by moving its tail right? Wouldn’t this indicate that the sperm is actually alive?  Also, why would they say the sperm dies after 72 hours if it does not connect with a female egg if it wasn’t alive?  I would say that yes a sperm is alive.  Does that not mean it is a life form all its own?  Most women only release one egg, but obviously sometimes two, three or even more are released, hence twins, triplets and so on.  If the question is asked about the male sperm than what about the female egg?  As I said before the answer to the first question is yes, the sperm is alive and dies within 72 hours.  It dies because it did not connect to an egg.  When it does connect with an egg the egg is fertilized and together they make new life.  Obviously the sperm cannot do this on its own.  With that the female egg will remain alive for fertilization for 24 hours.  Both the sperm and egg are alive and within each of them contain chromosomes which make up the human DNA when a sperm and egg meet and mesh into one.  A female egg has 23 chromosomes. A male sperm has 23 chromosomes. Thus, when a sperm fertilizes an egg, the embryo has 46 chromosomes. Women have two x chromosomes, whereas males have an x and a y. Each contribute one. The woman will always contribute an x. If the man contributes an x, the child will be female. If he contributes a y, the child will be male.  This creates a new life, a baby.  Sure you can call it an embryo, a fetus, or a mass of tissue.  Calling it whatever you want does not take away the fact that it is life.  The fact that a new life form, a human being starts at the time the sperm fertilizes an egg does that not mean that human life has begun at the time of conception? We can argue back and forth about if life starts at time of conception or not but that fact of the matter if you look at the basic fact of life it does indeed start at the time of conception.  Just think you were one in 300 million. 

 

Others want to argue that life starts at the time the heart starts to beat.  I disagree, from the moment conception happens cells are forming and making the beginning of what would form into a heart, the lungs, a brain….etc.  If we stop the process and destroy these cells does that not stop life from continuing? The answer is simple and that is yes.  If one stop the process of life from forming completely as it would if left alone, than yes it is stopping life.  Based on that alone life begins at the time of conception.

 

 I am certainly not a scientist but based on the fundamental basics of how a life begins is not hard to understand that the moment the egg is fertilized by the sperm two separate life forms meet and start creating a new life.

 

I was watching a documentary on saving eagles and how they would fertilize the egg and the new baby eagles life began.  I watched it grow and develop until it was developed enough to be hatched.  It was amazing watching this baby eagle emerge from its shell.  All celebrated the birth of this amazing bird.  I then watched a video of a woman who was talking about abortions and selling baby parts over eating a salad as if it was no big deal.  Next question how can people say that these innocent babies whether completely formed or not are not babies?  How can someone say they are simple just a mass of cells? Every single little living cell was working and growing into becoming a fully developed human baby until aborted.  How callus have we become to simply dismiss these babies, by calling them a clump of cells, an embryo, fetus…etc.?   How can we sit back and watch these innocent babies being slaughtered by the masses and yet dismiss that their very life was taken.  A life full of potential whether they were wanted or not.  As a mother I would protect my children at any cost, why is it different if you can’t see them and hold them in your arms?  Even then, how is it ok if a baby is not able to survive outside of the womb to take its life?  If that life was left to fully develop it would come time for him or her to be born.  For that matter how is it ok to know that a baby can survive outside the womb to decide that its life is not worth fighting for?  What about those who survive the abortion and are born to then have its life not matter because someone doesn’t want them?  They are then left alone helpless to die on a shelf or worse to have its spine served in a violent matter.  Please forgive me but when that lady described pulling these babies apart to preserve certain body parts and to preserve live tissue, doesn’t that mean life? Doesn’t that mean you have to end the baby’s life in order to acquire these body parts and tissue?

 

Another thing or saying that really makes me infuriated is when someone says, “This is my body so it is my choice.”  All I have to say to that is bull poopy.  Yes, you are the one carrying another person’s body inside you helping it develop, but the fact of the matter is the body you chose to kill and dispose of is not your own.  If that was the case it would be called suicide.  I’m sorry for putting it that way but how else can you describe an abortion.  Plain and simple it is ending a life and isn’t by definition ending another person’s life not by their own choice called murder?  I know my words are harsh and I’m sorry if anything I said offended you, but what about these unborn babies, who will be their voice?  This is not an attack on women’s rights but it is a war against the inhumanity of the life of the most innocent being taken.  Being taken for what convenience, fear of the unknown, and then made to be like it is no big deal or even that the fact that a death happened.

 

Another sad fact that everyone over looks is how an abortion affects the mother, the father, sister, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends.  Not only does it end the baby’s life but it kills apart of all those involved and would have had a chance to love the baby.  A mother’s heart never completely heals, neither does any one else’s who had a potential to love this precious little life.  In society we are quick to jump to decisions that we say will help someone deal with an unwanted pregnancy and to give their lives back, but in all reality is we are taking apart of their lives away that will never completely heal.  We are not helping, but we are hurting more than anyone realizes.  Why can’t we come along side these women young or old to give them support?  Maybe they are not able to be a mother at the time for one reason or another, but there are women, families who would give anything to have a child of their own.  Why can we make adoption more of a priority than an abortion?  Why can’t we make it easier and more affordable for families to adopt?  An Abortion is not the solution. 

 

As I said at the beginning of this is I am close to a number of people have had an abortion and they regret it and are full of shame and sorrow for the loss of their at the time unwanted child.  I have seen healing happen with these women and men as they relied on God to take their pain away.  Just as in any death there is a process of mourning and it is no different for an abortion.  It is still a death and it hurts.  No time does not heal all wounds but God can.  Even when you receive the forgiveness and healing from God it doesn’t ever go completely away.  It is like I have closure from my brother’s death, but there is still a sense of missing him.  Not many people know that I had a miscarriage early on with two pregnancies, both were before I really knew I was pregnant, but it still hurt.  I find myself thinking of all the possibilities and what life would have been with them in my life.  The loss of not getting to know them hurts.  I have never personally had an abortion, so I can’t completely speak as if I had and completely understand how it feels, but I have watched those mourn who have.  My heart does go out to you and I am sorry if any words I used hurt you in anyway.  My intent was not to beat you up, but what I wrote is in hopes to reach others before they get one themselves. 

 

As the human race we need to speak truth and acknowledge life.  We use the word life loosely and when it is convenient for us.  We are easily swayed for causes that are yes import and sad, but what is more important than the life of a baby and the useless loss of so many. 

 

I understand that there are cases of rape, incest, and the life of the mother.  The sad truth is those cases are not the norm and as sad as those cases are it is even sadder at the loss of more life.  I had to face the choice of giving life under some horrible circumstances I chose to give life. 

 

Until we can acknowledge that life begins at conception we will never be able to face the truth that abortion is taking life.  We need to come together and fight against this genocide of the most innocent of innocent and protect these little ones.  Defunding Planned Parenthood is a must.  But the sad truth is until we get to the core of what abortion is all about and recognize that life begins at conception and start treating these babies as babies then we lose the battle.  Just because a baby is not wanted does not make their life less important than those that are.  Face the truth and know that these babies are alive and not just a clump of cells and worth more than $60 dollars or more for an intact heart.

Abortion plain and simple is murder.  Society has become numb and have made excuses to allow the lives of so many.  According to the Guttmacher Institute, since 1973, roughly 50 million legal induced abortions have been performed in the United States.  That is only since 1973 and only in the United States.  I can’t imagine how grave the numbers are in total not just for the US but for the world.  What has this world come to be able to turn a blind eye on so many lives taken?   When will we say enough is enough and fight the most innocent of victims?